To me, the "scare yourself" bit has to do with carrying more speed into a corner than you are comfortable with, but finding that you can make the corner at that speed without heroics. The key is to repeat it until the faster corner entry becomes the norm. Then scare yourself again!
I don't know about this scare yourself in every corner stuff. You can still be in total control and drive really fast. Your fear level should come down with experience. I don't know how helpful it is to tell a beginner that you're slow if you're not scared. As a beginner, you probably have a bit of fear in all corners right now.
My driving instructors when I started spoke of 10 increments of attention. When you first start out, you are using 9/10s of holy crap, don't wreck this thing and 1/10th of where's the turn in or braking point, etc. As you get more experience, 5/10th is on holy crap am I going fast and 5/10s spent on other things; checking oil pressure, finding the apex, knowing where all cars are around you at all times. The most experienced racers are 1/10 or less on holy crap, don't kill myself and 9/10th's on other stuff; predicting where competitors are stronger or weaker, finding that last 0.1 seconds, manage these tires - no scrub, etc.
My advice is to really start to break down where you are slow and where you are the slowest. Data is a great idea, but not all of us can afford it. You'll have to find other ways to indicate your speed. It doesn't sound like you are to the level of really sorting a lap to find the last 1 second (data is huge for that). You mentioned trying to find 3+ seconds. You can improve a ton even without $1,000 in data. I was taught to work on two corners each session. Pick two sections of track where you know you are slower than your competitors, preferrably on each end of a track so that you have some time to think between sections. Go 85% in the session, but strive for 95+% in these two corners. Get faster, two corners at a time. Hint: probably smart to start with the corners leading onto the long straights. Your times will start dropping.
I'm a regional guy and usually in the top 10% of the field, so it's not that long ago that I started and on a thin budget. Every weekend I race, I still pick two corners to work on each race day. I'll go 99% everywhere else and really push, push, push to find a little bit more in those two chosen weak corners. At Mid-Ohio, those still are turn 1 and turn 12 leading into Thunder Valley. I know that's where my last half second sits.
One other great piece of advice I received when I was having difficulty picking up corner entry speed. Too worried about braking, downshifting, turn in, trail braking, etc. I was told to stop worring about doing all of these things at one time and to first work on side bite grip. For a corner dropping from 4th gear to 3rd, I was told not to downshift until I learn the entry speed the car can handle. Also, told not to try to dive the braking zone, just back it up a bit and worry about these later. My point is that in order to find the speed you have to break the corners down into smaller segment to work on that all add up to a fast drive through it. Start with corner entry speed, no downshifts and be early and easy on the brakes. Then move to hard braking and keeping that ideal corner entry speed. Then, finaly work on the downshift and the drive off the corner. This has worked for me.